Welcome back! Since our beloved Aquarius king David Lynch has passed, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about the films that have shaped my life thus far. I thought I’d share them and why they mean so much to me, should anyone have any interest in that sort of stuff. Maybe I’ll do a top 10 countdown or something. No. I’m not doing that, I cannot possibly rank these movies against each other. They all mean such vastly different things to me, not only would it be difficult to pick a favorite, but it’ll feel wrong. Also, this is not a list of favorites. Let me explicitly say that. Okay, here are ten films that have shaped me into the human I am today in no specific order. Except for the first movie. I would not have seen the majority of these movies had it not been for Sunset Boulevard. So without further ado, here we are.
1. Sunset Boulevard (1950) dir. Billy Wilder This was the movie that got me into film noir. More than just film noir, it got me out of that primitive mindset of “the only good movies are new ones”. I watched it begrudgingly at first, with my grandma when I was a wee one, probably around 6 or 7. It grabbed my interest to my surprise, and although I didn’t understand any of it I was fascinated anyway. Then I was watching American Dad one day and it was the Sunset Boulevard parody episode, so I decided to watch the movie again (around age 14) and it simply just blew the door wide open in my mind. What else was I missing? If this movie made in the ancient year of 1950 was good, and not just good but engrossing and funny and dark and twisted, what else was out there? This type of excitement is what fuels me daily. Curiosity killed the cat perhaps but it keeps Billie alive. Still to this day, I want a giant portrait tattoo of Norma Desmond. 2. Last Days (2005) dir. Gus Van Sant If you know me, you know that Gus Van Sant is one of my top directors. Also, Nirvana is my favorite band. Maybe you know me and you didn’t know that. I don’t advertise it much but now you know. Anyway, this was another movie I watched when I was younger that made me go “Woah, that was fantastic.” It was because the film was about Kurt Cobain that made me start watching, but it was the agony that kept me invested. The lack of dialogue in this film doesn’t make it a bore by any means. Quite the opposite, and for a movie with little to no important dialogue, Gus Van Sant gets the heart-wrenching atmosphere and heavy cloud of darkness juuuust right. I have to be in a certain headspace to want to watch this movie, but when I’m feeling that way, this film hits. Last Days opened yet another crazy door of cinema for me.3. Tombstone (1993) dir. George P. Cosmatos Picture this. You’re sitting next to someone. They have hand tattoos. You’re feeling extra annoying and decide to grab their hands and inquire about the tattoo. This person now hates you and your lack of boundaries, but they tell you that if you must know, their knuckles say “HCKL BRRY”, like from the movie Tombstone. It’s a well-known fact that this is one of my favorite movies. Everyone in my life knows that seeing this film was a defining moment for me. The moment I knew I wanted to be a cowboy. I love this movie for no other reason than it is just a great story with great characters. I’m a huge fan of old westerns, I sometimes go on western binges that last 2-3 days and this is always the first one I watch. While absolutely not a spaghetti western, it still fits the vibe when I just wanna zone out and watch people shoot guns and ride horses.4. Clerks (1994) dir. Kevin Smith Probably one of my favorite directors, Kevin Smith knows how to make me chuckle. I find Clerks to be a timeless classic, detailing the nuances of everyday life in black and white. I’d like to thank my mom for sitting me down when I was 12 and making me watch the majority of Kevin Smith’s catalog; Mallrats and Chasing Amy are also 2 of my favorite movies, but Clerks cemented my love of films that have no real discernible plot but keep going because they can. I love movies and TV about nothing– it reminds me of how magical doing “nothing” can really be. As someone who is often sitting and, you guessed it, not really doing much, I can appreciate the genre. 5. Blue Velvet (1986) dir. David Lynch Aside from Twin Peaks, this was my introduction to the Lynchian world and my soon-to-be way of living. I find this particular film to be especially impactful on me because of the way that sexual violence was depicted, Lynch was an expert on conveying the struggles of women without being exploitative and unnecessarily graphic. He displayed acts of corruption and violence with poise. His stories about women were not meant to be palatable or artful in any way, and because of that, they were powerful. They were moving and true to life.
6. Eraserhead (1977) dir. David Lynch To say that this is my most loved and treasured work of Lynch’s would be an understatement. I could watch it 10 times in one sitting and still find new meaning in it each and every time. I often watch this with one of my best friends, my beloved Christian, and it feels like a spiritual soul bonding between us. Lynch’s legacy will live on forever, that’s for sure. If for nothing but this particular movie, he will always be with us. Because this film will haunt you forever.
7. House of 1000 Corpses (2003) dir. Rob Zombie If you’ve ever talked movies with me before you already know that Rombert Zombert is The Guy. The only horror director to ever hold my attention for years at a time and never make a movie I wasn’t completely enamored with, Rob Zombie knows how to make a film that gets better the more weed you smoke. This is a little more lowbrow than I’m usually into when it comes to movies, but I’m a big Rob Zombie fanatic and will die on this hill. 31? Banger. 3 From Hell? Banger. Lords of Salem? Banger. You won’t change my mind, sorry. Banger.8. Cleo From 5 to 7 (1962) dir. Agnès Varda God I love this movie, and I don’t know why. I haven’t given that much thought, I guess. It follows a successful pop star around Paris while she flips her shit waiting for her doctor to call and tell her whether she has cancer or not. Another one of those movies that’s basically about nothing at all, Cleo from 5 to 7 makes me want to be a pretty French girl wandering around Paris. Though self-absorbed, I feel deeply for Cleo. I feel her loneliness and her longing. I feel for her in the sense that you can have the whole world sitting right in front of you but there’s still an emptiness to be felt, even when you have it all. Cleo and I are both addicted to the longing and the yearning. Neither of us thinks of what we will do when we finally get what we want because we know deep down that nothing will ever satisfy this feeling, this enormous burden of loving the wanting. 9. La Strada (1954) dir. Fredrico Fellini I’ve always wanted to be part of a traveling circus. Maybe less so now that I’ve seen this movie but I guess it’s not really a traveling circus and more of a couple of nomads turning literal tricks for money. It’s a really sad movie, quite a downer in all honesty. But when I crave raw emotion in a foreign language this is my go-to. Gelsomina is just so sweet and she’s dealt just the shittiest hand. And she works with it. She keeps her head up, and even when she’s discouraged she always finds her way. Zampano is a dick but you feel for him anyways. Not as much as you feel for Gelsomina, though. This film is a good reminder that things could always be way worse. 10. Coraline (2009) dir. Henry Selick This movie is scary as hell and had an extremely profound impact on Little Bill. Like this movie had me fearing for my life at age 10 and I loved it. Absolutely adored it. The animation, the score, the everything just completely changed how I viewed the world. There are scary things that lie within the mundane and I often entertain that thought in my head right before I go to sleep. This is the movie of my childhood.
Hope you enjoyed hearing about the movies that changed my life. There’s plenty more I’m sure but I had a tough time picking out just 10. Maybe one day I’ll make a list of my favorite movies. That sounds a lot easier than picking out 10 movies that moved me to my core. Anyways, if you like these films, or maybe you don’t like them but still wanna see what I’m watching, my Letterboxd is @hcklbrry69. Have a beautiful bright and shining day.
Phrenectomy 