Please Stop Giving Me Advice
Hello, and sorry for the brief absence. I have been battling an extreme bout of fatigue and exhaustion recently. On that note, today I am irritated about the notion that disabled people deserve to live in poverty amongst other unsavory conditions. When will the world realize that we are human beings too? I’m also getting…
Binaries Are Crap
Today I am angry about binaries. Firstly, I don’t even believe in cis people. I think they’re lying and lacking the depth aspect of the self. On a serious note, though, there are far too many biological factors contributing to one’s sex that a binary system fails to include a solid portion of the population.…
Bill’s Confessional
Welcome! Today the guilt eats me alive, so I’m going to get so overly personal it’s going to be awful, and you’re all going to hate me afterwards. Let’s get to it! We do what we must, even if we don’t want to. We don’t technically have to, but it’s the right thing to do.…
Thank Talos I’m Angry Again
There’s nothing more obnoxious than a music elitist. I think what we put into our bodies matters, including the music we listen to. I don’t think it’s right to feel shame for liking what you like. I think it’s evil to make people feel shame for listening to something you don’t like. I have a…
An Apology
I look around, and I see all the wonderful things in my apartment. Mostly gifts; trinkets, treasures, and the like. I have a lot of books. Most of them unread, but I’m attempting to put a dent in the pile. I have so much worth living for. It wouldn’t be fair to these odds and…
I’m not all that bad.
This is me trying to convince myself I’m not fundamentally broken and absolutely unlovable. I love my cat more than anything. Lilith has shown me a love beyond gestures or words. There is something so sweet about coming home to her, knowing she was waiting for my return. Her softness and her purrs put me…
The Art of Spiraling Downward
It’s fun, at first, like that waterslide at Six Flags New England. You know the one. But you start getting dizzy. And bored. You start to burn from the friction and the gravity pulling you further downward. You get lonely, too. Are your friends even behind you anymore? Did they go down at all? The…
Pair of Tits Rants Angrily About Men
I do not want to be seen as just a pair of tits anymore. Not that I ever wanted to, but I’m over my physical appearance being my defining feature. What about my brain? My beautiful, brilliant brain! It’s the best thing about me, I’d argue. But people care not for my brain. They care…
I Forgot To Take My Meds Yesterday
…And now it’s today’s problem. So I sat, and I wrote with no particular idea in mind. I hate it, but I’m going to post it regardless. I think I’m a lot more hurt by the erasure of non-binary/gender nonconforming identities than I’d like to admit to myself. It’s like when you see the blood,…
Nihilism is Cancerous
I don’t often lean on teleological narratives; I don’t believe that everything happens for a reason or that what’s meant for me will find me. I don’t believe that things will work out in “the way they’re supposed to”. How do we know what they’re supposed to work out as? How do we know…
Bill’s Babbling Brook of Bullshit is Back, Baby!
Today I smoked weed and was granted an Italian Catholic High instead of an Irish Catholic High. Bazinga! God’s wrath shan’t touch you today, child! I also received a whopping 85 on my midterm, where I took the assignment as a mere suggestion instead of what I should’ve been doing. The professor appreciates my giant…
The Insidious Ways Of Therapy Speak
I don’t think I’m a good person. I have a lot of moral shortcomings, and I ignore a lot of things that need attention. But I at least don’t try to hide it behind “setting boundaries” and “prioritizing my mental health”. I don’t like that therapy speak has made it into the general public. I…
This Is A Late TDOV Post (NOT An April Fools Joke)
Sup! I wrote this before I smoked my bong and then returned to it later and had to cut it short. I was forced to smoke out of my bong because my only clean bowl was wet, as I had just cleaned it. It turns out, bongs turn me stupid. (Oh. I might’ve heavily edited…
I feel like a coyote with mange sometimes.
To love yourself is to forget yourself. To constantly try to assign yourself labels is to limit yourself, and to pathologize every single aspect of oneself is to know self-hatred in its highest capacity. At some point, self-becoming becomes self-harm. When will it be enough? Do you really think you’ll eventually know something as vastly…
Why I Hate Hardcore and Adjacent Scenes
Hello! Firstly, I’d like to acknowledge the national holiday taking place today. It is my mother’s birthday, and if you know anything about my mom, you know she’s an actual saint. She puts up with so much of my bullshit, and has for 27 years now. Not just that, but she singlehandedly raised me to…
I Hate Art & Being an Artist & The Whitney
Today, I was thinking about how I learned the hard way that my love of art, namely the creating part, does not translate academically. I tried, I really did. Studio classes made me feel inadequate and overlooked, and art history classes made me hate the art world. Being an artist made me hate, well, being…
Lonely Curmudgeon Musings
I am so lonely, I am now realizing. Not that this is unusual, I am a lonely person, and always have been. But I’m just now coming to terms with how lonely I actually am. I have historically been a quality-over-quantity person when it comes to friends. I never cared that I didn’t have as…
I’m a Man-Hating Tenderqueer
In a patriarchal society such as the one we live in today, people (not just men) are often brainwashed into thinking, even subconsciously, that a woman’s value and existence are merely contingent upon that of a man’s. Whether this is a conscious train of thought or a more deeply ingrained way of operating, it is…
Geese Horror Stories
I just hit my very first blinker. Then I hit another. Here’s to feelin’ good, all the time. Reaching milestones today. Making big progress in my weed-smoking career. Coughing a lot while I do it. Just found out that owls are monogamous. Some animals are monogamous because their young need more attention and protection. It’s…
I’ve Been Having a Midlife Crisis Since I Was 12.
Hello. Today I feel a mixture of very old and too young. This morning, I cried at an Instagram video of a DJ playing at a nursing home. End-of-life care is extremely important. I have always felt passionately about this. I pretend I hate old people, because sometimes I genuinely do hate the elderly population,…
Story Time With Bill: My Stupid Ex-Roommate Caused Me To Experience Ego Death
While we’re doing story times, I figured I’d share one I don’t often talk about due to its extremely traumatic nature. In hindsight, it’s a little silly, but at the time, it really bugged me out. Like, I considered going inpatient for a split second because I thought I’d finally lost my marbles for good.…
Story Time With Bill: Studio Ghibli Ketamine Trip
Sup, y’all. I’ve been going through a bit of a tough time recently, with the whole constant 8/10 pain level and everything. I need cheering up, so I’m going to reminisce for a second. I’ve been thinking a lot about pain, and what relieves it. Naturally, ketamine comes to mind. I’ve had some of the…
The Revolution Will Leave Me Behind
Greetings, loved ones. I’m trying very hard to take care of myself and exercise some much-needed self-love right now; I’m trying to revolutionize from within. I feel that something people are scared of these days is becoming inconvenienced in their relationships. Interpersonal relationships aren’t supposed to be easy; they’re not something you can embark upon…
Babbling Brook of Bullshit #2
This morning I woke up bright and early, as usual. 4:30 never stood a chance against me, going to bed at 9:30 and routinely waking up for a cigarette around this time anyway, regardless of when I went to bed. I could have fallen asleep at 4, and I will still arise a half hour…
Holiday Harm Reduction
Posting my experiences with sobriety in case it helps someone this holiday season. For some, Alcohol is the devil, and sobriety is peace. For others, myself included, alcohol is the devil, and sobriety is a merciless god, blind with rage, smiting down anyone who dares question Thee. Am I broken? Why set yourself a definite…
Miracles
It’s so rare that I experience “writer’s block”. I can’t even remember a time when I experienced such tragedy. I think sometimes I come close, I can only write so many streams of consciousness before I get annoyed with myself. Today, I reached out to my Aunt Lindy for ideas, and she asked me if…
Top 10 Releases of 2025
My Top 10 Releases of 2025! Sunshine & Balance Beams- Pile If you guessed that my number one album of the year was Pile’s newest release, I may be more predictable than I thought. We’ll see what my top scrobbled artist of the year is on last.fm at a later date; my listening has been…
Babbling Brook Of Bullsh*t
Stream of consciousness in 3… 2… 1… I think I have a phobia of romantic relationships. Not like an “I’m afraid of commitment” type deal, it’s more similar to hydrophobia. I am repelled by relationships in a purely scientific sense. I do not mix or dissolve with romantic endeavors. But I need a different analogy…
To Love and Be Loved is Radical
Good afternoon. Today’s forecast calls for an angry call-to-action followed by a soft embrace. The angry rant: We need to be doing something other than sitting on our phones posting about politics. I do not care if this sounds harsh. But our lazy form of “action” does nothing but upset people. While the upset is…
I Hate Myself Sometimes
Today I cried because of my own deep-seated hatred of myself. But crying over this just goes to show that I love myself even a little bit, and that’s better than not at all. I was doing my bi-monthly notes app cleanout, where I delete all my last will and testament notes. There are a…
