Greetings, loved ones. I’m trying very hard to take care of myself and exercise some much-needed self-love right now; I’m trying to revolutionize from within.
I feel that something people are scared of these days is becoming inconvenienced in their relationships. Interpersonal relationships aren’t supposed to be easy; they’re not something you can embark upon and relax afterwards. Loving people is work; being there for your loved ones can be strenuous and tiring, but that’s what makes relationships worth it. That doesn’t mean the labor you pour into others isn’t fun, either. Oftentimes, I find joy in being inconvenienced by a friend. I feel love in my heart and endorphins in my brain when I am chosen to carry out a favor or act of support. As someone who was convinced for 25 years that I was absolutely useless, it comes as a surprise to me that a lot of people actually appreciate moral support. It may be small, but when someone lets me be there for them and lets me offer uplifting words or whatnot, I have begun to realize that I am not utterly useless after all. Personally, I am not often able to offer much in the way of material/physical support. I cannot drive you to your doctor’s appointment, I can’t help you pay your bills, and I can’t help you move out of your apartment. But I can cheer for you from the sidelines, and I can get you a glass of water if your hands are tied at the moment. I can sit quietly and listen, or if you need it, I can give great advice. I can be a shoulder to cry on, or I can be a sleeve to wipe your snot on. We can beat the same dead horse over and over if it makes you feel better; I know it helps me sometimes. I can accompany you on your journey to pick up your meds from the pharmacy. I will be your noble yet quirky passenger jester on a quest of your choosing. I have arms for hugs, and vocal cords for affirming words. I cannot help with a lot, but I have found the ways in which I can, and I’ve made sure to make these services available to all who should need them.
None of these things would be possible, however, if I didn’t take care of myself first. I believe that the revolution starts from within. You have to care for yourself like you would a loved one, or you will not feel like a loved one. People can tell you all these supposed solutions to your woes in the name of a revolution, but when you know that, due to your specific circumstances, they will only make you sicker, it hurts. It feels like you’re not accounted for in this so-called revolution. It feels like you will inevitably be left in the dust, left to rot because you couldn’t run long enough, you couldn’t lift over 50 lbs, or you simply couldn’t keep up. But, in a real community, someone will pick you up, throw you in a shopping cart, and push you the whole way.
The thing about real people with real feelings who are focused on bettering their circumstances is that they believe in it for not just themselves. They want this for everyone. And if you’re too bird-brained for it to occur to you that you want this for other people, then I’m sorry that you’ve never been a part of a real community that cares. If you feel that your part in the revolution is to stand on your soapbox and shame people into various lifestyles, or guilt people into caring for things, or berate others for not following the same rules you do, then that is not a revolution. Liberate yourself from these ways of thinking, and you will find that simply doing your best is enough. In the words of a friend, “People who leverage political or social conditions in order to lend power to their personal positions or ideologies only do harm to and create further divisions within the causes they claim to care for.” That’s not to say that education isn’t our best weapon against our modern-day terror, but education should be empowering to the learner. You cannot guilt-trip people with facts and expect them to care. I don’t know about you guys, but the more people try to make me feel guilty and ashamed about my lifestyle or habits, the less effective that sort of “motivation” is. Looking at you, guilt-shamey vegans.
Anyways. Remember that loving yourself is an extremely radical act in today’s environment. Taking time for yourself, taking time for your loved ones, and helping out where you can is a solid start for those of you who feel paralyzed. If you’re reading this, you’re one of my people, and I love you. Take care and stay warm.
Phrenectomy 