Phrenectomy

  I don’t often lean on teleological narratives; I don’t believe that everything happens for a reason or that what’s meant for me will find me. I don’t believe that things will work out in “the way they’re supposed to”. How do we know what they’re supposed to work out as? How do we know for sure that what’s meant for us will find us? I don’t know about you, but to me, these ways of thinking seem lazy. What if what finds us isn’t meant for us? There’s a large leap of faith when it comes to teleological narratives. I, for one, love to writhe in the pain that comes with the ultimate freedom we all have within us. I don’t think the universe has “plans”, I think the universe just is. At risk of sounding like some spiritual nutcase, the universe is who I answer to in terms of a “higher power”. It’s the only thing we know for a fact exists. I don’t believe that the universe is a conscious, all-knowing entity, either. I think it’s just the universe. I put the energy into it that I want to see in the world. I don’t usually expect that to be repaid or rewarded in some cosmic manner. And if we’re talking about God, I am mine. I am the only person who can dictate the way things go for myself. I dictate how I feel, what I do, and the way I present myself to others. Now, this may sound uncharacteristically nihilistic of me. But we all know nihilism is my biggest pet peeve, and that’s why I tend to cling to absurdism. Nothing matters, and we have to suffer about it? Nah, son. Nothing matters, and we should work towards finding happiness in the little things. We must grin in the face of nothingness. Maybe there’s no purpose to our lives as individuals, but to think that’s a valid excuse to throw in the towel and be a bummer about everything is just abhorrent. It shows me that you don’t care. Not caring, nonchalance, etc., are all things that really bother me in this world. Oh, look at you, you’re so cool because you don’t give a fuck and are a self-proclaimed “hater”. I was raised on the belief that hate is a very strong word, and I still adhere heavily to that. It’s okay to dislike things. It’s okay to hate things, even. But without a basic understanding and underlying knowledge of what you’re hating, you’re just a sack of shit. I would go as far as to say that if you genuinely dislike something due to the knowledge you possess about said thing, that’s not hatred. That’s just understanding. But some people love to hate, and they love to do so blindly, without thinking, and because they think it makes them seem cool and edgy or what have you. That’s so tacky. Where is your spine? Do you even have one? If all you focus your energy on is your distaste for various things, you’re missing out on actually enjoying life. I know a startlingly large number of people who live to hate things. Music, literature, and even other people. It’s a waste of energy. The more you poke fun at something you “hate” without a decent understanding of what you’re hating, you’re just an unhappy piece of shit. I see people repost things from others that they disagree with, and instead of providing context for what they don’t like about it, they resort to jokes and putting down other people instead of addressing the real problem. Now, I’m not saying hatred is a completely useless emotion. It’s quite useful when you harness it properly. But sitting on Instagram and making fun of other people because they have a different opinion is extremely weird. 3 people come to mind currently, and they all hate things surrounding music. They hate bands, the fans, the scene, everything under the sun because they’re unhappy, but won’t do the work to understand why they’re unhappy, so it gets redirected to something they’re well-versed in. Hating things becomes an addiction for them because it provides temporary relief. As someone addicted to making themselves feel like shit, I get it completely. The difference here, though, is that you have to be willing to change and willing to put in the work that comes with being happy. And to be honest, it’s not really that difficult. If you just reframe the way you think about things enough, it becomes second nature. Some people are so dedicated to their title as an Ultimate Hater, however, that they never realize how sick and unhappy they are. Nihilism kills, my friends. It’s so easy to fall into it, too. I was a straight-up nihilist when I was 13, but when you open your mind (and grow the fuck up) to the possibility that life, despite its lack of meaning, is actually cool and fun sometimes, you realize that you just look like an idiot and no one likes you because you’re a negative Nancy. Anyway, that’s all I wanted to say. If you’re a nihilist or a self-proclaimed hater, stay far away from me. And to the people who want to enjoy life, I’m right here with you. Be good and kind to each other, as always.